Love..

It usually takes a lot of courage to walk back through memory lanes where one received a lot of flowers and then a lot of thorns after the flower fall….

SITTING BESIDES ME
AS SHE WROTE
LIKE SHE OFTEN DOES
SCRIBBLING AWAY WORDS
FROM HER UNENDING RESERVOIR
OF EXPERIENCES
IN WORDS AND PHRASES
ONLY SHE CAN.

I SMILED TO MYSELF
A LITTLE BEMUSED TO’ SEE”
POETRY IN MOTION
TO ME
SHE HERSELF IS THE POEM
WRAPPED IN DEFFERENT HUES
COLOURS AND SHADES UNFATHOMABLE AT TIMES
AND VIBRANTLY VISIBLEAT TIMES
SOMETIMES HIDDEN AMID THOSE BEAUTIFUL TRESSES
AND SOMETIMES EXPRESSIVELY RADIANT
THROUGH HER EVERLASTING SMILE

SHE….THE WOMAN
ENCOMPASSING LIFE AND LIVING
THEN I WONDER
IS SHE A POEM ABOUT LIFE
OR LIFE ITSELF?

In the morning I was rummaging through my small iron shelf where I keep most of the records and history of my existence accidentally a faded page torn from an old not book fell on my feet.The red bold letters in a nice handwriting looked at me and smiled.I smiled back too..Without any resentment or regret .But with a lot of happiness in my heart.Those letters were describing me from years back.Then I felt for a second as if my life itself was a beautiful poem.

The poet who wrote those letters are now in oblivion.He went away giving me bleeding wounds on the inner walls of my heart forever..

But still I keep the poem ,the poet and my heart unaffected by stains of anger and hatred,as I understand the worth of a living is never measured in its length but in happiness and bliss gifted in coffee spoons..

Along with the poem still I keep the rice grain with two lovers name written on either side of it,the small wooden turtle which tenderly moves in a breeze and the piece of marble where my name is carved along with my nickname..

I too move today like that turtle .On the bottom of it there is a greeting wishing me life long luck ,happiness and prosperity.The one who wished passed away without a trace in one rain.But my life has still winds and rains which are enveloped in the reminiscences of his presence..May be that is what is known as love..

My secrets..

I was thinking about me and the people around me today.What are the qualities I search in others or attracted to?.I like people who are strong and reliable.Strength is not expected to be a hundred percent phenomenon.One is allowed to be weak at times according to me.B ut I like people who are at least 80% strong .My relationships with other people always worked out and still work only at places where I was genuine and strong.Independent and pleasant.Everyone looks for pleasant things.Everyone likes to be pleased.And everybody likes attention.If one is pleasant,and if he or she can please others and give undivided attention to the level of plain pampering,he or she will always be considered as a good human being.People will always remember this particular being as a special person.Infact it is ourselves who are the strong component which is holding tightly or loosening the grip over a relationship almost all the time.love is all about ones own thought processes and the one we love is just a reflection of our feelings..

I am unhappy sometimes.I guess others also can be unhappy at times.Everyone including me naturally think our happiness is inside the pocket of another person.So as the next step we start searching for that pocket.But sometimes I think if I can stich that pocket on my own shirt the whole process of this searching can be avoided.But how?That is a question whose answer for me at least I don’t know at present.

I am a social being.so I like to be with people.I am intellectually somewhat advanced.
So I prefer people of my own kind.When I give attention to others ,inside I also crave for attention.It is just a circle of living in which I fill some part and the others the other parts.

I am frustrated over my inabilities as a human being.Magical thinking adds more thickness to my frustration.In my fantacies I can visualise a perfect life with perfect surroundings,relationships just like in a movie setting.But in reality I have nothing which is atleast close to perfection.Everything I posses have their own defects and I know this is true for every living person.Yet my difficulty to get down from the fantastic perfect level to a lower reality level is one of the blocks in my thought processes. Others with whom I interact may also have the same block.

I know my nature.I put people into various tests before accepting them to my world.
I want to find out who is a fake and which one is real.this process goes on throughout life.I give plenty of time to find out honesty and reliability of humanbeings.I consider me as genuine,raw and real existence.Once I findout the core strength and weaknesses of people I accept them as what they are.If they pass the tests I worship them.If they fail I can empathise with them.and I know,I am also constantly under surveillance by others for my strength and flaws.Then I guess they may also be accepting or rejecting me for what I am..

I can trust many buddies of mine with eyes closed because I am willing to accept bravely without questioning whatever virtue or harm they may bring to me.iIcannot get angry from inside to my people.Because I feel I have a right on them.They may remain,they may go,that is a choice of time.Time changes ,faces changes,but I and my love and care for the persons with whom I connected through blood or heart over many years of life remain always as sweet and sour memories.This is where I understand life always worth giving a trial..
This is just for those who thinks lie me..