KARVA CHAUTH...

KARVA CHAUTH.

The debate was getting hot.
“This fasting is only for properly married women.Those who took “sath phera”with
their man.” Suja was arguing.we all were listening.
Let me first introduce the forum.It included 5 people .Me.,doc.shashi,sisters suja and vibha and the cashier sudha.All sitting in our OPD and free.Usually during such
times we start with some topic which usually is very simple and small and strictly confined to the little sphere of our every day world.We don’t know much about what is happening to the economy of India ,or what SoniaGandhi said in a recent political meeting .We are simple women who live small lives. Our gossip column usually involve things which happen in our everyday life or of the patients we meet.
Today’s topic was “karva chaud”I being a south Indian has nothing to do with this
fast.Doc.shashi was keeping the fast and she came today all dressed up in the traditional way in a glistening sari and matching bangles and other accessories.
She had put mehndi on her hands yesterday itself.All women yesterday was walking around and working with green mehndi on their hands .All their chores involving hands were conducted by others who were empathetic and had no mehndi on their hands including men.Vibha was not keeping the “vrath”for which her explanation was
“we don’t have karva chaud in bihar”. Suja is a christian.
From the moment our topic started today I knew where suja is aiming at.Sudha ,the cashier is having an affair with one of the receptionists suresh.Sudha is a widow.Suresh is married and the father of two adolescent children.Sudha’s husband died many years back due to dengue fever.She was married to a guy in a remote village of U.P.She has 3 children.Two boys and a girl.After the death of her husband she left her inlaws with the newborn girl .Inlaws didn’t let her take the elder two boys as there is plenty of property of which the two boys are the sole heirs.sudha had filed a court case for the custody of her children which is under slow progression now.

Sudha tried to argue against suja’s view point.

‘Then why all those unmarried girls at reception are keeping this fast?”
she was mentioning about Anju and Reshmi.Anju is hardly 18.she is having an affair with a boy at her desk .Reshmi is around 28 yrs,unmarried,still continuing her relationship with an X-ray technitian with whom she fell in love almost 5 yrs back but could not marry.He married a village girl one year back due to family’s pressure.But it ddnt affect their previous relationship.Its going on in the same way as in the past.
Most females of our working place keep the fast of “karvachaud”. This day they all come like newly wedded ‘dulhans’ irrespective of their age,with a lot of makeup in their face and mehndi and ‘choodiyam’ in hands.This include some elderly ayahs
like bhagvatiyamma and kausallya who are at least 60 to 65 yrs old .The young male
generation in the hospital mockingly describe ‘karva chaud’ as ‘the day when you can see all types of all models in new paint and polish with repaired dents’

Suja didn’t approve of anything illegal or away from a straight line in life.She has a very happy marriage of about 20 yrs duration with a pleasant ,sweet compatible guy.
So whenever she gets a chance to point a finger at sudha and similar types she never
miss the opportunity.


‘How can any woman who is not legally married can keep this fast?Its unethical and sinful according to me” . She started again.
“There should be someway to curb this kind of degradation happening to our society today”

somewhere inside I felt, she is worried about her own husband’s safety from this type of ‘chudels’..

As suja’s voice become more aggressive others looked at each other.Sudha became a little pale on this directly indirect attack on her character.But she nodded silently to suja.We all knew sudha is keeping the fast.

I looked at dr.shashi.She understood the request in my glance.She intervened.

“What you say is ok sister.But as far as I understand everything comes from a woman’s heart.”she placed her right palm on her bossom.
“If you ask me,I will do a fast for anyone I love including my parents.Its all about love and care”
Suja was still defensive.
“I am talking about this particular fast only.Not anything generalised.This is for husband and one should only keep it when she has a proper husband’

She sounded a bit vindictive to me.so I picked up the thread.

“Ok.agree.So what about those women in our hospital who are kicked,slapped and abused everyday by their husbands after his drinking session in the evening?They also keep the fast.But do they really love their husbands?I don’t think so.They just do it as they are supposed to do it by the family and society”

Dr,shashi agreed.
But suja was not convinced and she stood on her deliberate stand on the morality of the issue.
“Its all about love and care.I f you want to do, do it.but ‘dil se karo’-shashi presented
her opinion again.

“There are many woman who have many relationship in their lives and they are also keeping the fast”
Sudha said quoting as an example of a woman living alone in an upper storey near her house.I smiled and said.

“Don’t worry.even Draupadi might have kept this fast for her five husbands whom she properly married’

Now it was vibha’s turn.

“No didi.They ddnt bring draupadi after a proper marriage.She was just a prize they
won in a competition and shared among them to follow their mother’s order”

“wow”I exclaimed..

“Look.women started thinking nowa days.but I love this point.” I teased vibha and we all laughed.

Sitting in that room ,at that moment I felt how innocent and pure all these women are.
I know about the life situations of all .vibha’s husband doesn’t work regularly or properly.He has a drinking habit as well.she work 12-16 hrs to manage her home and two adolescent boys.Shashi is infertile.She cannot have her own kids.So she is depressed and finds solace in sedatives.Her husband anil loves her and doesn’t bother about kids as he is a very successful software professional and is on tour most of the time.Shashi always talk of going to her parents and miss them too much.
Then me .I am a confused soul more than mr.confuscius! I cant even concentrate
as things happened and happens so fast and unexpectedly in my life always !
Suja is the only one whom I would say is somewhat contented in her life even though she whines sometimes about monetary problems.

So my conclusion of the day was as follows. In one way or another the women of India are supposed to suffer without any particular reason. They are bound and trapped in a system which starts from their birth and ends only at death.These women desrve an applause as they never ask for freedome from their own prisons due to many factors and the most important one is our taditional views on family.