CAT AND ME.

The mother cat is sitting on the steps in front of my verandah –cum-kitchen ‘s door.
The grill door is in a closed state so that she cannot enter inside and steal milk from my milk pot.She started staying in my backyard some months ago.But she was not a constant tenant .She comes only when she needs to deliver her kittens.That process I think she usually conduct byherself inside the tunnel on the side of my house through which the pipeline connections of the house pass.Now she has 4 kittens of about one week old .They were very promptly named as blackberry[the one with a black patch on its nose-she also has another not so cute name as ‘muh kalivali ‘- both given by my kids],gold berry,yellowberry etc.according to their respective shades.

I am making pasta for my younger child .She is 8yrs old.While working on the gas stove my mind is moving between me and the cat.I am feeling there is a mild chance that the cat is also thinking about me while she looks at me.

I am an Indian human female.I am married for the last many years and had given birth to two children.Now I am somewhat confined most of the time to the solitude of a human habitat we call as home.So when I don’t go out to work as usual I do in the evenings,I feel a little bored and more lonely.On such situations I fall frequently in to the trap of my restlessness which makes me do many irrational and shameful things like logging in to internet and searching for some extra terrestrial humanbeing who can think very illogically unlike most of the people I know in real blood and flesh,
who is able to consider me as a lonely humanbeing who needs some encouraging words and comments from this superhuman without any mention of how ‘hot ‘I look
even though they haven’t seen me ever!

Today the above mentioned venture was not so satisfactory because of an untimely stormy wind and a sprinkling accompaniment of rain which took away my electicity supply.So I endedup in the kitchen making an indo-italian collaboration pasta with ingradients like onion,ginger,garlic,green piece,paneer,olives,cream ,capsicum and the macaroni.This item was invented solely by me at this moment only without any prior imagination of inventing such a thing.

My kid is sitting near me on a small stool and singing in the loudest possible of her voice ‘saregamapadhanisa’ ,in a most unbearable tune that I suppose yet to be composed by some great karnatic musician.In between this practicing session she is also talking to the mother cat and giving her some instructions and tips about how to look after her children.

I very gently and sweetly requested her to discontinue the singing process which she politely and gracefully refused..
So this is my lovely evening status today.If I am remembering correctly,once upon a time,I was a quiet young lady who used to bragg about the importance of personal space and freedome of thought and actions in human life..

Now let me complete the pasta venture and then continue..

I served the hot pasta in a beautiful blue porcelain bowl with fork and a spoon in an attractive tray to my kid.She took it and directed herself straightly to the bedroom where the TV is available 24 hrs and went into her world of cartoons and pogo..

Now me and the mother cat are alone.I remained inside the grill in the verandah and she dozed on the doorsteps outside.
My thoughts again went back to the cat.
The cat is now enjoying her second maternity excursion on my back yard after a gap of around three months.
For a fraction of second I wished if I could be the cat instead of being me.,
When I thought deeply I found the following differences between me and the cat.

1. She is free.She can wander anywhere.She is not married.Even at night she can go out leaving her kittens in the safety of my backyard.She is not scared.
I am not supposed to wander without permission from many people.
And wandering without any purpose is almost prohibited.
2. She expects very little things from her life.
I expects the most beautiful fantasies and miracles come true all the time.
3. she doesnt expect her male partner to baby sit or follow her every where after
they started copulating .Me ,who grown through Cinderella ,Romeo Juliet and
many more of that types stories always imagine prince’s exists and hope
they take birth and live in earth rather than in stories.
4 She doesn’t need to share her emotions.[if she have any other than her
natural mask of indifference].She need not feel the necessity of sharing any
ideas or doubts which may be baseless and eccentric ..But I need to and I to
search for pits to unload my collected garbage.
5. I have no personal space in the world.the whole world is her personal space
6. I don’t know much about the survival techniques in crowded places which I cant avoid or not permitted to refuse.she can survive anywhere as she knows the methods.she is calm and cool.i am hyper and turbulent.

7. she has neverbeen a victim of betrayal,false pretences or impressions .so I doubt she ever cried .I am continuously being cheated and lied even by myself and left alone to cry or howl.
8. she believes in evils.never trust even the days .she is always suspicious.
I believe in virtues even when I am confused abt their constant and unconditional existences.and I trust all the shadows.
9. The cat is happy in small and necessary things she achieves everyday like catching a rat and feeding it to herself and the kittens and later playing with the remaining carcass with her children and training them how to become a perfect male or female cat in one future day.
10. I am unhappy worrying about the safety and future of the children in the world including my own while doing nothing effectively to make it more brighter and just leaving many blames on fate and destiny.
11. I cant sleep whenever I wish.she can..

When I was a child,
I wanted to be reborn as a male.but in later years I had modified my reincarnation wish as to be reborn as a Caucasian male in America .Then through years I also saw the pros and cons of being a male.So now I think I have an alternative.
May be I want to take my next birth as a male or female cat..